


Douleur Exquise

by SlytherinKilljoy



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Adderall Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Withdrawal, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Panic Attacks, Stuffed kitten, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28482414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinKilljoy/pseuds/SlytherinKilljoy
Summary: La douleur exquise—(n.) the heart wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable.Gakushu Asano is a perfectionist. Everyone knows that. They can see it in the way he walks and his carefully enunciated words. His grades and social standing reflect it.But if he had a fatal flaw, it would be how needy he is.He’s attention seeking. Demanding his father’s attention by trying to constantly impress him, to satisfy a man who is never satisfied. His desire to be liked often consumes him, and popularity is a drug to him.He needs to be liked, and he’ll do anything to make that happen.But Akabane Karma just had to walk into his life. And the boy with sharp eyes and a cruel streak just has to complicate things further. His desire for affection twists into something painful, and leaves Gakushu breathless.The worst part is that he knows that Karma doesn’t love him back.
Relationships: Akabane Karma & Asano Gakushuu, Akabane Karma/Asano Gakushuu, Asano Gakushuu & Sakakibara Ren
Comments: 9
Kudos: 153
Collections: Asano Gakushuu Centric





	Douleur Exquise

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday Gakushu! I wrote you some angst for your birthday, hope you don’t mind. This was something that was lying around in my google docs from a couple months ago, I just polished it up a bit.

> “I don’t know 
> 
> what’s more tragic
> 
> That I keep looking for you 
> 
> wherever I go 
> 
> Or that you’re never there”

They meet in their first year of junior high.

Akabane is sitting on the edge of the rooftop, eating lunch. His legs dangle off the edge.

None of the other kids seem to be bothered by this.

“He does this everyday.” They say, “He hasn’t fallen off yet, so I guess it’s fine.”

But Gakushu decides to be a good class representative and walks up to Akabane.

“I would appreciate it if you got off the edge of the roof, Akabane. That’s dangerous.”

Akabane looks up at him with sharp eyes and a fake grin, “What if I just like to live dangerously, Class Prez. Are you going to stop me?”

“This is just foolish, stop wasting both of our time and get off.” Gakushu’s voice is tight.

“Make me.” Akabane smirks. 

Gakushu grits his teeth. Then he grabs Akabane by the wrist and pulls. 

Akabane struggles, clearly not actually expecting Gakushu to do it.

They both fall to the ground, knees and elbows bashing into each other. 

“Well would you look at that. Class Prez isn’t as uptight as he seems.” Akabane jokes, rubbing his sore forehead from when he knocked it against Gakushu’s.

Gakushu feels pain spark through his ribs, “Shut up. And my name’s Asano Gakushu. Not Class Prez.”

“Sure thing then, Gakushu.” Akabane grins. This is a softer grin. A more genuine one. Gakushu is momentarily blinded by it. But then the words register—

“Hey! Don’t call me that. We aren’t on first name basis—“ he says, indignantly.

But Akabane keeps calling him Gakushu every time they interact. Sometimes it’s just a shouted, “Morning Gakushu.”

Gakushu will never, ever admit it, but he actually doesn’t mind Akabane calling him that. He doesn’t hear that name often.

He doesn’t have anyone who’s truly close enough to him to call him by his first name. His own father doesn’t call him that.

So whenever Akabane calls him that, it makes his chest feel a bit funny, even if he doesn’t know

* * *

“You should stop skipping class.” Gakushu says, one day as they walk the halls together. Gakushu had just been called down to the Principal’s office so his father could criticize him on his failures in the recent student council fundraising activity. He just exited his father’s office with clenched fists and shaking shoulders when he bumps into Akabane.

“Class is boring. I don’t see the point. And I didn’t sleep much so I’m going to go take a nap somewhere.” Akabane yawns. The laziness gets on Gakushu’s already frayed nerves. His father tore him apart despite all the hours he spent planning and working out the fundraiser, trying to delegate roles and manage volunteers. And Gakushu doesn’t get enough sleep either. He’s been forced to pull all-nighters to make the fundraiser work.

And he’s not allowed to skip school to take naps, so why does Akabane get to—

“Want to join me? You look exhausted.” Akabane points out Gakushu’s pale skin and the bags under his eyes.

“No way.” Gakushu snaps immediately, “The Principal would kill me if I did that. I should go back to class now.”

Akabane’s expression shifts a bit, and he turns to Gakushu with curiousity. “Why do you call your father the Principal?”

Gakushu freezes. He didn’t even realize he was doing it. 

“I suppose,” Gakushu ponders, “ it’s because he hasn’t acted like a father in a long time.” 

——-

His relationship with his father is a strange one. His father is either teaching him, criticizing him, or hitting him. When he’s not doing any of those, he’s just ignoring him.

It took a long time for him to realize that this wasn’t a normal father-son relationship.

But there’s always the voice in his head that tells him if he was better, less of a failure, stronger, his father wouldn’t treat him this way. 

So he uses it to fuel his drive for perfection.

It never gets better though. 

It’s never enough.

——

By the end of the second year, though, his father’s berating breaks him down. The pressure to be perfect becomes too much. Gakushu can’t maintain these grades anymore at the price of sleep deprivation.

He can’t do all these extracurriculars, he’s just so tired.

One day, he’s so sleep deprived from studying for an exam that he crashes the minute he gets home, and skips his music lessons.

His father and him get into an argument about it, and it ends with Gakushu being slapped across the face.

After that night, he makes a decision. A very, very bad decision.

He gets his hands on Adderall pills. He’s always known that the kids in the boys bathroom sell them, but has stayed away from it.

But now, he starts meeting with them every month to get pills.

He hates himself so much for being reduced to doing this.

But it gives him the boost he needs. Adderall is like pure, concentrated focus. He can pay an incredible level of attention to his homework and studies. He can spend hours with the excited buzz under his skin, not even noticing that the sun has set and started to rise.

He doesn’t need to sleep. He doesn’t need to eat. He needs less. He’s not the needy, affection seeking boy anymore. He’s colder, harsher. He snaps at his friends more, and doesn’t care. 

His father seems impressed with him, “Whatever you’re doing, keep it up.”

Gakushu nods, and takes even more pills.

The virtuosos don’t notice a difference. If Ren notices anything, he doesn’t say it. It’s not exactly unusual for A class students to take drugs. They’re all doing everything they can to get ahead, and under all this pressure, even drugs aren’t off limits.

As the second year final exams near, Gakushu gets even more stressed. He’s usually careful about the amount of pills he takes, but today, he’s just too nervous. He takes 4 pills at once.

This was a mistake.

He can’t breath. He feels like he’s dying? Is he dead yet. The bathroom walls spin. He feels dizzy—-

“Gakushu? What are you—are you okay?” He feels a hand on his shoulder, and he jerks away. 

“I’m fine. I just took 4 Adderall—-but I’m fine. Though I think I’m dying. Am I dying?”

Gakushu doesn’t even know what he’s saying. 

Akabane kneels down in front of him, meeting his eyes, “You’re not dying. You’re having an Adderall induced panic attack.”

Oh.

Akabane sits there with him the entire time, helping him calm down and breath.

The panic attack subsides after 15 minutes, but he’s left feeling shaky and weak.

“You’re a fucking dumbass.” Akabane tells him quietly.

“I know.” Gakushu whispers.

“No. Really. You need to stop doing this. You’re supposed to be the class president. Aren’t you going to set a good example? All the other A class kids take drugs because you take them. Don’t you want to show them they can be successful without them?” Akabane’s voice is high. “I should tell your parents.”

Gakushu pales, “You can’t do that—“

“Relax. I said I should, not that I will. I know what your father’s like. But you need to stop doing Adderall. Throw them away.”

Akabane shoves his hand into Gakushu’s pocket, and Gakushu is too weak to fight back. Akabane has him pinned against the wall with just one hand. It reminds him of just how weak he’s become.

Akabane takes out the foil packet of pills. Then he crushes it in his hand.

Gakushu is once again reminded of just how strong Akabane is. The pills instantly turn into dust in his hands.

But Gakushu feels panic build in his chest. He needs those pills. He hates them so much, but he desperately needs them to feel okay—

He feels tears sting his eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay, Gakushu. You’ll be fine. Just get through withdrawal and you can be ok. I know you can get the grades you want without the drugs.” Akabane pats him awkwardly, like he isn’t used to comforting people. 

But sitting there, slumped against the wall, Akabane at his side, kindles a new feeling within him.

He looks into Akabane’s eyes, a bright shade of amber. And feels his heart skip a beat.

He goes home that night exhausted, weak, and in tears. But he also goes home that day with a crush.

He has a crush on Akabane Karma. This is not going to end well.

——————

Gakushu is well versed in the art of crushes. The way his heart beats funny. The way his eyes linger on someone for a moment too long.

He’s made out with a few older boys in the back of the bathroom, so he isn't entirely inexperienced. Though he knows all too well the art of ignoring his crushes. Suppressing them. Because he knows that none of his crushes will like him back.

So he tries to put his crush for Akabane in the back burner. He’s more busy trying to fight an addiction right now. His withdrawal symptoms are bad. He’s throwing up, having really bad headaches, and feeling incredibly depressed as his mental state is turned upside down. 

And worse of all, he has to take his final exam in this condition. His father just thinks he has the flu, so tells him to just go to school anyways. Gakushu studies as hard as he can, but it’s more painful now. He can’t concentrate.

But the fear of what his father will do to him if he fails drives him to perfection. 

Gakushu struggles to even pay attention in the test, with his mind in a million different directions. He struggles through it, but he succeeds through sheer luck. He gets first place.

So why does it still feel like a loss?

—-

The next few months are a struggle. It would be so easy to relapse and start Adderall again—it would help so much.

But Akabane seems to have decided that Gakushu is pitiful and needs his help. The redhead keeps checking in on Gakushu, making sure he’s doing alright.

And that more than anything else keeps Gakushu from relapsing. He never wants Akabane to see him that weak and pathetic again.

Akabane gets suspended at the end of the year though, and that puts an end to their tentative almost-friendship.

Because if Akabane is going to be in E class, then there’s no way Gakushu can interact with him anymore.

The divide between the Main Campus and E-Class is too wide a gap to ever bridge. 

Gakushu doesn’t entirely agree with The Educational Philosophy™, but it works well enough. And his father is nothing but the best at what he does. So Gakushu enters the start of the new school year determined to forget about that delinquent red head and focus on being the best student council president there is.

Everyone is looking up to him, even the little first years. He’s Asano Gakushu, and there’s not a single person in the school who doesn’t know who he is.

If that’s not power, then what is?

Gakushu is drunk on the attention, the admiring looks. But his father is quick to knock him down a notch. 

After all, power over the student body means nothing if he doesn’t have the power to block his father’s fists.

Gakushu works hard as always, pushing himself to the breaking point over the first semester midterms. But then his father changes the curriculum three days before the exam.

“You’re doing this to trick E-class, aren’t you?” Gakushu accuses his father.

“Or maybe I simply wanted to test the limits of my high achieving brilliant students. They should be able to meet this standard anyway.” His father responds, his voice light.

But Gakushu doesn’t relax. His eyes narrow. His father’s condescending words grate on his already frayed nerves.

“You just need to keep E-class down, no matter what the cost. But is going to these extremes truly necessary? It’s rather embarrassing, if I’m being quite honest.” He drawls. 

Gakushu isn’t entirely surprised when his father hits him, hard. His father never goes easy on him. The floor is hard, but Gakushu’s bones are harder, toughened from years of breaking and rebuilding from the constant impact.

As rubs his sore jaw, Gakushu does nothing but laugh at his father’s face. 

The only time Gakushu ever feels in control of his life is when he makes his father’s face glitch like that.

Gakushu peels himself off the ground, assesses the blooming bruise in the mirror, and stares at the red-purple tones of it with sickening fascination.

Well, at least it matches his eyes, he thinks, rather numbly.

The true mental breakdown doesn’t come until the night, when Gakushu curls up in the corner of the bed, his pillow soaked with his miserable tears. His shoulders are wracked with sobs, the wheezing in his chest louder than the thoughts ruminating in his head.

When he’s done with unraveling his painful emotions and his pathetic— _desperate_ need for affection—he simply wipes his eyes, flips the pillow over to the other side and pretends it never happened.

He just uses the age old excuse of soccer practice when asked about the bruise, but there’s still something uneasy in Ren’s eyes when his gaze lands on Gakushu’s face. 

“Can you do something for me, Ren?” Gakushu asks, quietly. 

Ren looks alert immediately.

“Sure thing, Asano. What can I help you with?”

“I need you to make 26 copies of these.” Gakushu hands over the notes he stole when he snuck into his father’s office last night.

“What are these?” 

“These are the notes for the lesson plans of the next three days. All the content that will be on the midterm.” Gakushu explains. 

Ren still looks confused but does as he says, and at the end of the day, Gakushu grabs the thick stack of stapled notes, and heads up to the top of the mountain.

The students are still lingering in class, which makes it easier for Gakushu.

They all freeze once they spot him, and begin whispering to each other. 

“Hey, Gakushu.” Akabane calls out, looking at him curiously, “What are you doing up here.”

“The Principal’s trying to fool you all. He changed the curriculum three days before the test. Which is incredibly petty even for him. So I have notes for all of you.”

“How do we know we can believe you?” Someone asks, “You’re probably just like your father, trying to trick us into studying the wrong material.”

Gakushu recoils at that comment.

_Like your father_

_“_ Look, I’m not trying to trick you. I’m not doing this from the goodness of my heart, I still don’t like any of you.” He hears a few outraged cries at that, “I want you to succeed because you succeeding will help me get back at my father for what he did to me.” Gakushu places his stapled packet on the desk at the front of the class—strange how there’s no teacher here right now.

“What did your father do?” Someone asks, and Gakushu doesn’t answer that.

He just turns away, walking out the building and back down the hill. He’s done his part, it’s up to them what happens next.

Gakushu takes out the fresh pack of adderall from his pocket, turning the foil over in his hands. He really shouldn’t do this.

But he needs it. There’s simply too much new material to cover, and he needs these pills to focus. So he swallows the pills, pulls out his notes, and starts studying. The focus and euphoria the drug gives him is incredible. He starts to feel the familiar sense of superiority, being better and stronger than all other human beings. He doesn’t sleep or eat, he doesn’t take breaks. He just studies.

And he enjoys it.

But by the time the exam comes around, he needs to take more and more to keep from crashing. He’s taking so much that his heart feels funny, and he’s extremely jittery.

This exam is a struggle. He feels really sick at the moment, and his head hurts—he took way too much adderall.

He forces himself through the exam, but when it’s over, he locks himself in a bathroom stall.

He’s having another panic attack. He picks himself off the ground when he’s done, shaky and exhausted.

He tells himself he’ll never take adderall again, but an hour later he ends up swallowing another pill.

This addiction is getting out of control.

Five days later, their exam results are out.

Gakushu stares at the rankings with wide eyes.

No way. This can’t be—

Akabane Karma beat him by 1 point.

Gakushu’s in second place.

The entire A class is despairing, seeing that E class has done so well. At least half of them are in the top 40.

“I’ve heard from the E Class teachers that Asano-kun here has aided E class, and that is why their scores are so high.” His father’s voice is chilling.

Gakushu jumps, turning to see the man entering the class. The entire classroom goes still.

“Well, what do you have to say for yourself?” Father asks, and his classmates stare at Gakushu with betrayed expressions.

Gakushu clenches his fists, “I just did my duty as student council president. I did what any proper educator should have done—“

Smack—

Gakushu feels the air knocked out of him as he collides with the desk. His head explodes with pain as it slams into the corner of the desk.

His eyes water from the force of the hit, and his entire body is screaming in agony.

He hears someone shout his name, but his head is still swimming and he can’t make out who it was—

He would laugh if he wasn’t in so much pain.

He raises a hand to his head and it comes away with blood. A lot of blood.

He finally makes out that it’s Ren kneeling before him, looking really, really scared.

“ _—someone call an ambulance.”_

The last thing he sees before he blacks out is Ren holding onto Gakushu’s hands tight with tears in his eyes.

—————

When he wakes up next, he sees a boy with fluffy hair and a familiar face staring down at him.

“Ikeda.” Gakushu whispers, “So I’m dead?”

Ikeda looks at him with a sad smile on his face, “Your heart stopped on the ambulance. All the adderall has weakened your heart, Gakushu.” 

“Oh.” Gakushu looks out at the place around him. It’s a nice place. With soft fluffy clouds in the sky and lavender flowers throughout the grassy fields. It’s a peaceful afterlife. He thinks he’ll like it here.

“I know it’s pretty here.” Ikeda says, softly, tilting his head up to the sky, “Real life is messy, painful and difficult, isn’t it.”

“It’s hard. It’s just too hard.” Gakushu bites his lip.

So why does he still miss it?

“But nothing ever changes here, Gakushu. There’s no challenge. No rivals or crushes. No love, no heartbreak. It’s peaceful here, but you can always come back whenever you want, you know. You’ve haven’t fallen in love yet, never felt true loss. You haven’t lived yet. So why don’t you go back there, and come back when you’re ready.” Ikeda’s eyes are faded, his entire body is faded—washed away.

He’s peaceful, but there’s nothing more to him.

Gakushu doesn’t want to become all faded and washed away. 

He wants to live.

Suddenly, the will to live floods him with a feeling of power. It’s the feeling of the rush at the end of a soccer game, the exhilaration when the timer rings and pencils are put down when the exams finish. It’s the feeling he gets whe Akabane calls him _Gakushu_ , the brief fleeting elation at getting his father to glitch out.

It’s his reason d’être.

And he can feel it in his heart, the still organ finally beginning to beat again.

The afterlife starts to fade away, and he can see a ghost of Ikeda holding his hand tight, giving him a final goodbye.

And with that, white dots form in his vision, and he blacks out with an explosion of white light in his vision.

——————-

The first time he wakes up, he squints at the figure in front of him, wearing a white coat.

Hospital.

“I’m alive?” He croaks out.

“Yes, you are. Just barely—“

And then Gakushu slumps back against the pillow and goes to sleep again.

The next time he wakes up, there’s a man with a clipboard and another man in a police uniform. Strange. Are they here to arrest him for adderall usage?

“Where’s my father?” Gakushu asks, his voice sounding weak from lack of use.

The two men exchange glances..

“He won’t be let near you any time soon, don’t worry kid.” The policeman says, and oh—

This is too much to wrap his head around, so he just puts his head back on the pillow and lets sleep take him once more.

When he finally wakes up for real, he’s overwhelmed by the noises of the machines around him and the pinching sensation of the IV tube. The thick blankets are pulled up to his chest, but he’s still cold. He turns to the little table next to the heart monitor, and it’s filled with cards and candy—and even a stuffed animal.

Gakushu reaches for the stuffed ginger kitten, and there’s a note stuck to it.

“ _It reminded me of you. I hope you wake up soon._

_—Akabane.”_

Gakushu runs his fingers down the soft fur of the kitten. Does that mean even E- class knows about what happened?

Then the door opens, and doctors and nurses start flooding the room, asking him questions and taking his vitals.

Gakushu clutches onto his kitten tighter, answering the questions cautiously.

Most of them are just basic ones, but then there’s another woman entering the room, introducing herself as a CPS caseworker.

“You can call me Ryoko. Now would you like to tell me what you last remember happening?”

Gakushu squeezes the kitten’s tail anxiously. He takes a deep breath.

“My father hit me in front of the class. I fell into the desks and I think I broke something? My head hurt a lot and there was blood. I heard someone call for an ambulance.” He says, not meeting her eyes.

It’s too painful to remember. 

“That matches up what your classmates said as well.” Ryoko nods, “You had a deep gash on your forehead as well as a fractured collarbone and three cracked ribs. Excessive amounts of Adderall were found in your system, and the combined trauma resulted in heart failure. Miraculously, your heart was brought back to life, but you were on the brink of death. I hope you understand how serious this is, Asano-kun.”

Gakushu doesn’t answer.

“Look, you aren’t going to be in trouble for the adderall abuse at the moment, right now our priority is for you to recover and to find you a safer home. I promise you aren’t going back to your father, Asano-kun.” Ryoko’s dark eyes meet his, and he can hear the emotion in her voice. She means it.

She’s not going to let him down.

So Gakushu decides for once to let someone help him, and nods.

It’s a painful process, having to explain his home life in detail. It’s uncomfortable, but Ryoko does it as clinically as possible.

When she’s gone, Gakushu finally gets to have visitors.

The Virtuosos visit first, and Ren immediately throws his arms around Gakushu. His arms are warm, and Gakushu finds himself leaning into his hug.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stop him. I can’t believe we didn’t notice.” Ren whispers, pulling away from Gakushu. 

“It’s alright, Ren. You couldn’t have known.” Gakushu accepts hugs from all the Virtuosos, and Araki sniffles as he clings to Gakushu desperately.

“I thought you were going to die.” He says.

They really aren’t usually the hugging type, but Gakushu has a feeling he’ll be getting a lot of hugs in the next few days.

“What’s going on in school right now?” Gakushu asks, fiddling with his IV tube.

Ren bites his lip, “Well, the Principal was forced to cancel school for a day because the entire A class was too distraught after what happened. And when all the other classes saw the ambulance—everyone freaked out. You didn’t look good, Asano. It was terrifying.”

“And a bunch of E class kids got together and wrecked the Principal’s car.” Koyama adds.

Gakushu sputters, “His car? He must have been furious. Are they okay?”

Ren frowns, “Yeah, they got detention but they’re fine. Maybe E class isn’t too bad really, if they had the guts to do that. I would have punched the Principal myself if I had the balls.”

“Don’t remind me, I’m still half tempted to try anyway.” A familiar voice drawls from the outside of the door. 

It’s Akabane.

The Virtuosos clear out with the promise to come back to visit him tomorrow, and Akabane and him are alone in the room.

Akabane takes a seat at the edge of his bed, close enough for Gakushu to breath in the fiery scent of smoke and spices.

Akabane reaches out slowly, smoothing out Gakushu’s hair and pushing his bangs behind his ears.

His fingers aren’t quite soft, but they’re warm, sending pleasant sensations down his scalp.

“I was terrified, Gakushu. We all were. I was so mad when I heard what happened that I was ready to commit murder.” Akabane finally speaks up, and there’s something in his eyes that let Gakushu know that he’s dead serious.

“I’m glad you didn’t. My CPS caseworker says I’ll never be going back to him, so you don’t have to worry anymore.”

It doesn’t seem to placate Akabane much.

“You could have told me, you know. I understand why you didn’t, but if you told me I would have helped you.” Akabane says, his voice tight. His eyes are hurt.

Gakushu’s grip on the stuffed kitten is tight. Maybe it’s because of the fuzziness of the pain meds, or how Akabane is only a few inches away from him, but something in that moment makes Gakushu blurt out.

“I like you.”

Akabane blinks, “What?”

“I’ve had a crush on you. Ever since first year. I never wanted you to see me this vulnerable, you know. I wanted you to see me as strong. I wanted to impress you.” Gakushu admits, “That’s why I never told you. Why I never told everyone.”

Akabane looks stunned, his golden eyes wide and his expression twisted.

“ _You_ , like _me_?” 

“Yes, Akabane. You.” Gakushu gives him a sad smile, waiting for his reaction.

He doesn’t quite know what to do when Akabane breaks down laughing.

“That’s not funny. Don’t joke about that, Asano. There’s no way you could like me.” Akabane says, something sharp in his voice.

Gakushu freezes.

“I do though. I really do.”

“Well you shouldn’t. Like me, that is.” Akabane says, seriously.

Gakushu sets down the stuffed kitten, reaching for Akabane.

“Wait. Hold on. Why not? Why can’t I like you?”

“Because I’m me and you’re you. It would never work out, Gakushu. I’m too cruel, too violent for someone like you.”

“That’s not true.” Gakushu argues, because Akabane is the one who helped him through his panic attacks, he’s the one who gave Gakushu his stuffed kitten.

“I’m sorry, Gakushu.” Akabane says, and he looks genuinely apologetic, “I don’t want to hurt you. You should think about dating someone else. Nagisa, maybe Isogai? But not me. I’m not good enough for you.”

Akabane stands up then, and walks away.

Gakushu laughs in between his sobs. Of course. Of fucking course this is how it works out. He knew from the start Akabane would never feel the same way. But he never thought Akabane would be as insecure as he is.

Gakushu holds the stuffed kitten close, grieving for the boy he loves, feeling the burn of heartache deep in his chest.

(The worst part is, Gakushu never got a chance to thank him for the stuffed kitten.)


End file.
